My book is coming out this October! As many of you may know, I have decided to use my lived experience with the intention of becoming a beacon of hope for others lost in the sorrows they harbour in their mind as a result of past abuse. I want people to know that recovery from deep personal trauma is possible and feelings of hopelessness and despair, fear and shame can be absolved. That you can do so much more in life than just survive. And so it is with a mixture of nervousness and excitement that I introduce you to my upcoming memoir, entitled ‘Flying on Broken Wings’.
All of us are broken to some extent but I am speaking to the possibility of rising on our broken wings and soaring. Stepping out of victim and transforming that mentality. What I have found, is I am reaching people who are the ones placed in the “broken beyond repair” category. They see me. They hear me in a way they are unable to with those who have not lived it, and they do so because they know that I can see them. I am their peer. I’ve been there. I get it – but most importantly, I have found a way to go beyond it. And I have done so by putting in practice gratitude and hope, while embracing my vulnerability. I finally decided to stop listening to those who told me to hide who I am. That I would get hurt. That I need to trust less and hide my heart. Coming forward with my story has helped me silence the critic and follow my own wisdom.
I was 9 years old when I was sold into a pedophile ring. This is the story of my escape from unimaginable suffering in Canada to my struggle to build a life many deemed impossible in Australia. Documenting my battle with the Refugee Review Tribunal in my fight for protection and the beautiful people who have helped me along the way as I navigated my way through the horror if my past.
I wrote this book to honour the capacity of the human spirit and it’s ability to not only endure, but to rise above. To show that we can still thrive in the face of adversity. Most importantly I am putting my work out there so that others can realize the shame they carry was never theirs to begin with.
This is my heart and soul bled on to each and every page. I am aware when artists put our work out there to be seen and judged, many of us in the process of creating, hold back. I did not. I tell the story from my heart to honour the child’s perspective. I was not explicit in the detail of the horrific abuse I suffered as a child, not because I feared judgement, but because I truly believe it is irrelevant. Where I am explicit is in describing what the abuse did to my spirit as a child and the impact I will likely always carry as an adult. I did not hold back there because it is critical society stop viewing the abuse of children in the apathetic way in which it does. Judges, parents, law makers, police officers, teachers. Everybody needs to be aware of this one fact: the first time a child is interfered with, their life is never going to be the same. The global response of sweeping sexual abuse under the rug causes irreparable damage. The message of shame and unworthiness that is embedded by this blatant inaction holds the equivalence of the abuse itself.
A good friend of mine recently told me that my words have confronting beauty. I am authentic in the message but I write in a way that although confronting, is poetic and creative. I give enough to describe what has happened but as mentioned, I am more explicit in the emotional impact. My publisher put it to me like this; he said the way I write about the details of abuse is like being close to a train wreck and you are able to turn away at the moment of impact. I thought that was a brilliant analogy. I do this for two reasons – for myself and others. When dealing with such heavy subject matter you risk people shutting down and turning away. I needed my message to not only land, but to resonate, transform, teach and inspire.
To order my book you can pre purchase here and receive free delivery 🙂
I will keep you all posted as to publication date and when my book is finally on the shelf and you can grab a copy for yourself. Again, thanks to all who support me. It means so much.
Carrie J. Bailee